Messy

I had another day of not-so-much hands-on homebuilding.  We built 2 houses today (Tuesday).  I put in a few screws, dug some dirt, and moved some metal from place-to-place.  However, I spent the majority of my time with kids today - teaching them some hands-on drilling,  playing Frisbee and Soccer and crafts ... That reminds me,  I made a few Frisbee tosses back and forth also with a few interested civil-crew construction workers who were hand-digging and laying PVC pipe underground nearby today - and I thought it interesting that two of the three guys wore steel-toed boots and one of them was in bare feet as he worked, at least part of the time...It was a strange thing to see.  Like, can an you imagine seeing that in Sarnia!?  Anyway, I digress...

I see kids here that remind me of each of my kids and besides making me miss each of them (I miss you Ben, Rachel, Abby and Eden!), it makes me stop and think about what it would be like if they (or our whole family) were "born" in the circumstances that we see here....It's a striking thought.  During tonight's team debrief, at least one other of our team members mentioned experiencing this kind of thought too.  For me personally, it's complicated - part sadness, part...wonder, part...love, part...compassion, part...thankfulness, part...guilt, part...anticipation (what's that about!?).    Anyway, I don't know really what it all is - it's all...messy!  Upon return home, even after having time to "process", words will always feel inadequate to express the experience here. I think I can say this: Something inside me will never be the same, and is changed (and is changing) - for the better and for God's glory - but I don't see or understand what that entails at this point.

Thank you for your continued prayers for all of us! 

Matt